Shapeshifters & other: July 2008

Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda
Stars: Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie
Director: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson
**** (out of five)

Before we begin, let�s get the clich�s out of the way � yes, everybody is Kung Fu Fighting in Kung Fu Panda and yes, a cover of Carl Douglas� one-hit wonder 1974 track of the same name features on the film�s soundtrack.

But that�s where the clich�s end. Co-directors John Stevenson and Mark Osborne have carefully adhered to the conventions of the martial arts genre without exploiting them, opting instead to pay homage to the movies of their youth with the use of animation and Jack Black�s very appropriate brand of humour.

Kung Fu Panda introduces us to Po (Be Kind Rewind�s Black), a lazy panda who dreams of one day becoming a martial arts master, but is simply too fat and lazy to make it happen.

That is until he one day makes his way to a nearby temple to witness the crowing of the next �chosen one� destined to hold the title of master, only to find himself tagged with the honour, much to the chagrin of the crusty guru Shifu (Stranger Than Fiction�s Dustin Hoffman).

The future of China � which just happens to be populated by talking animals � rests in Po�s paws as he begins training with Shifu�s pupils: Master Monkey (Rush Hour 3�s Jackie Chan), Master Tigress (Beowulf�s Angelina Jolie), Master Viper (Watching The Detectives� Lucy Liu), Master Mantis (Superbad�s Seth Rogen) and Master Crane (Arrested Development�s David Cross).

Matters become more pressing when it�s learned that the evil Tai Lung (Hot Rod�s Ian McShane) has escaped from prison and is ready for a showdown with Shifu.

The comedy, if you hadn�t guessed, is derived from an over-weight panda trying to master kung fu while trying to curb his voracious eating habits. For this, Black is the perfect choice to voice Po, a character built almost solely around the actor�s manic delivery.

The rest of the casting is also spot-on � yes, even Dustin Hoffman as an aging warrior � while the fight scenes are spectacular.

And although those scenes are full of laughs, they�re also carefully designed to present kung fu in a realistic fashion utilizing genuine fighting styles and techniques.

As per Stevenson and Osborne�s directions, the fights drive the story from start to finish without seeming gratuitous, while Yong Duk Jhun�s cinematography and the film�s fantastic animation bring China to life in a way we�ve never seen before.

More importantly, kids will love watching a dumb panda fumbling around as he tries to save his village from destruction at the hands of a sinister snow leopard.

Kung Fu Panda is funny, full of action and just scary enough in a couple of scenes to keep both kids and adults at the edge of their seats � parents can�t ask for much better.

See Also

DMX Arrested Yet Again, Probably Faces Several Months Behind Bars

DMX was arrested on Wednesday morning (July 2) in Arizona on a bond violation as soon as he stepped off a plane

According to his longtime lawyer, Murray Richman, the troubled rapper (born Earl Simmons) knew that as soon as he touched down in his home state for a court hearing on a previous case, he would be arrested. He now faces the prospect of spending several months in an Arizona jail as he awaits his next court date, and possibly more time after that.

"He was supposed to be in court today in Arizona, but he was picked up as soon as he arrived," Richman said. "The arrest was a result of him being arrested in Florida. That arrest violated the strict conditions of his $7,500 bond in Arizona, which stated that he could not be arrested while on bail."

DMX was arrested in Miami on June 27 for allegedly trying to buy cocaine and marijuana, just days after his arrest in Florida for driving without a valid driver's license.

TMZ reported that the rapper was taken into custody as he was disembarking from his flight from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Sheriff Joe Arpaio — known as "America's Toughest Sheriff," and the man who recently took away a pair of honorary badges from basketball great Shaquille O'Neal following Shaq's verbal put-down of ex-teammate Kobe Bryant — reportedly told TMZ that X "never learns his lesson" and that he hopes to keep the rapper in jail.

The case DMX was returning to Arizona to face stemmed from an arrest in May on charges of animal cruelty and drug possession, and was one that Murray said he was confident he could win on behalf of the rapper, who has been his client for nearly a decade. The attorney said he was disappointed in the latest turn of events, especially since DMX will have to sit in jail until the animal cruelty case is heard, which could be several months or more.

"I believed that we had a good, viable defense in that [animal cruelty] case, but I'm sorry to say that Earl played into their hands when he got arrested for driving without a license and for being in a drug-prone area, which violated the terms of his bail," Richman said. "It's very upsetting after eight years of working and trying to keep him out of trouble to have him get caught up for this nonsense. He took a situation that is a win, and we will win, and it places us in a precarious situation."

Richman said DMX had been informed before he boarded the flight that he was going to be arrested in Arizona, but that he knew he had to "take it like a man and face up to it. He can't keep running."

See Also

"Home Improvement" Kid: Don't Tase Me, Bro!

You know how it is with child stars -- they grow up so fast before our eyes and before you know it ... they're being tased by hotel security.
Read the docs

Zachery Ty Bryan, who played Brad Taylor on "Home Improvement" -- is suing Choice Hotels International over an incident back in April 2008. Zach claims he was staying at a hotel in San Diego when he and a few friends went across the street to grab a Gatorade. When he came back just after midnight, Bryan's lawyer claims the hotel wouldn't let him upstairs, since the room wasn't in his name.

Then things went really bad ...

Bryan's lawyer claims Zach tried explaining his wife was in the room, but the hotel refused call her. He claims an off-duty manager, who was not involved in the initial argument, came out of nowhere and tasered Zach in the neck. Cops came but no charges were filed.

Zach is suing for damages in excess of $25,000. Calls to the hotel were not immediately returned.

See Also